I can't even restrict right. Not even 1000 a day. Nope. Gotta eat everything in sight.
Dafaq is up with me right now? ARGH. I want to scream at the top of my lungs right now.
In other news, my mom gave me some Hershey's bubbles chocolate. 200 for the whole bar, so half it up for 100 cal snack. Baby steps here, baby steps. I'm so sick of being stuck in binge mode. I've been here for MONTHS.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Binges galore!
I've been binging for a long time. I think all the way back to February. I've gained 15 pounds since then. Ugh. I'm back to my fucking starting weight for teh second time. This is such bullshit. I'm starting the Countdown diet today. Going from 800 to 0 in eight days obviously.
My total so far is 480 and it's 1pm here. Doing good now, going to sleep early tonight.
Maybe yoga and tea will help.
My total so far is 480 and it's 1pm here. Doing good now, going to sleep early tonight.
Maybe yoga and tea will help.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Sorry I haven't posted in a while!
My internet was shut off, and the place I was using for internet access (library XD) blocked blogspot! But I have a tumblr, so if anyone wants to follow me on there, my url is :
http://ana-avarice.tumblr.com
That's my little baby, but I also have a page dedicated to vegetarianism, which is:
http://disillusionedanaavarice.tumblr.com
Not much has happened since I posted last (well, a lot did)
I went through a stint of depression where I nearly killed myself and attempted recovery on my own (didn't happen, just started binging like crazy, but I'm coming off of that like I always do eventually).
Anyway, I'll be posting more as of now because our internet's back up. :)
http://ana-avarice.tumblr.com
That's my little baby, but I also have a page dedicated to vegetarianism, which is:
http://disillusionedanaavarice.tumblr.com
Not much has happened since I posted last (well, a lot did)
I went through a stint of depression where I nearly killed myself and attempted recovery on my own (didn't happen, just started binging like crazy, but I'm coming off of that like I always do eventually).
Anyway, I'll be posting more as of now because our internet's back up. :)
Sunday, April 11, 2010
My mother has officially decided to cancel my psych evaluation. She says I seem to be doing well enough alone and I don't need it. What a load of bull! It's only that I've let Ashley (one of my many personalities) take over while I slipped away into oblivion. I only come out upon awaking. I'm the most depressed person you could ever know in the mornings. So I'm not eating again. I started a fast today and it's going through to Tuesday, when I'm starting ABC. I don't want to break it and with the help o fmy twin, I'm not. I'm going to be stronger than that.
On another, more emotionally disturbing note, has anyone heard about the girl who sold her 7-year-old sister into prostitution? If not, here's a link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/31/teen-sold-7-year-old-sist_n_520133.html
It's a sad day when something like this happens. What was the girl possibly thinking? She was going to earn a quick buck with no remorse for doing something like this to an innocent little girl, much less her sister? I can't even fathom what must have been going through her mind as she watched this.
I mean, I'm a girl that doesn't get along with my younger brother in the least bit. But I would NEVER do something as sick as this. I couldn't even do this to a perfect stranger, young OR old. This literally makes me want to puke. It's sick. I think this girl should be strangled for doing this. Either she was on drugs or she's in dire need of medication. To be as uncaring as that, I think she's a psychopath.
Yep, that's it. This girl's a psychopath! She's the rape ninja. Seriously. I'd like to talk to this chick and ask her what the hell she was thinking when she did this. She's completely ruined the life of a seven year old girl. Her sister's never going to be able to look at the world in the same way. I hope her sister gets what she deserves.
But in all honesty, this is just one more thing that's wrong with this world. The world is, literally, going to hell. No one cares about the feelings of one another anymore. It's all falling to the hands of Avarice.
Am I the only one that catches the irony in this statement? Kudos to you that do catch it.
On another, more emotionally disturbing note, has anyone heard about the girl who sold her 7-year-old sister into prostitution? If not, here's a link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/31/teen-sold-7-year-old-sist_n_520133.html
It's a sad day when something like this happens. What was the girl possibly thinking? She was going to earn a quick buck with no remorse for doing something like this to an innocent little girl, much less her sister? I can't even fathom what must have been going through her mind as she watched this.
I mean, I'm a girl that doesn't get along with my younger brother in the least bit. But I would NEVER do something as sick as this. I couldn't even do this to a perfect stranger, young OR old. This literally makes me want to puke. It's sick. I think this girl should be strangled for doing this. Either she was on drugs or she's in dire need of medication. To be as uncaring as that, I think she's a psychopath.
Yep, that's it. This girl's a psychopath! She's the rape ninja. Seriously. I'd like to talk to this chick and ask her what the hell she was thinking when she did this. She's completely ruined the life of a seven year old girl. Her sister's never going to be able to look at the world in the same way. I hope her sister gets what she deserves.
But in all honesty, this is just one more thing that's wrong with this world. The world is, literally, going to hell. No one cares about the feelings of one another anymore. It's all falling to the hands of Avarice.
Am I the only one that catches the irony in this statement? Kudos to you that do catch it.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Okay, so it's been a bit since I've last posted in this thing. I believe that the entire male population, aside from gay guys of course, are out to get me. Officially. My reason behind this? I started to talk to a guy and two weeks later, after flirting with me constantly, he has decided to tell me that he has a girlfriend. So yeah. Every guy I have ever met has made me hurt. I have decided that I shall never date again. And if I do, I swear it will only be the undoing of me.
I've slipped back into my ED because of this. Another reason to never date. I get better when I'm alone. I feel happier, I guess. I don't have to worry about anyone leaving me because I'm just that paranoid. I suppose it's just my BPD, but what the hell. I'm just screwed up in the head. I'm having my psych evaluation next week on the 13th, and I shall relate to you all what the results come out as.
I've slipped back into my ED because of this. Another reason to never date. I get better when I'm alone. I feel happier, I guess. I don't have to worry about anyone leaving me because I'm just that paranoid. I suppose it's just my BPD, but what the hell. I'm just screwed up in the head. I'm having my psych evaluation next week on the 13th, and I shall relate to you all what the results come out as.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
An Introduction to My Not-so-mundane Life
Well, seeing as this is my first post, I suppose I should introduce myself a bit. I'm Lady Avarice. Nice to meet anyone who's reading this. No, I'm not in fact actually meeting you, but still. It's nice to instill an acknowledgement of you. You're not some number out there.
Anyways. As I'm writing this, I'm listening to NeverShoutNever! as any stereotypical alternative kid will these days. I love music, and I plan on making it something of a job for me in the future. I play acoustic guitar, of course. I've named my guitar Jimi Bob Mardrix, after two groovy guys. Yes, I plan on inserting some random hippie slang into this thing. The hippies were some of the awesomest folks in the world in my opinion. The fact that I think this way tends to shock most people that encounter me because, in all honesty, I dress in all black a lot of the time (hence the name), and they think that all people that dress this way can't like hippies for some insane and completely rediculous reason that I can't even fathom.
First comes Snapples. We've been best friends since the third grade and we've gone through hell and back with each other's help. If not for her, I probably wouldn't even be posting this thing right now. I'd be laying in some ditch by now.
Next is King of Heartz. I've known him for about three years. This is my twin. You mess with him, you mess with me, and when you mess with me, you get fucked up. This is my best gay buddy, lol. And that's saying something because almost our entire group is some kind of gay.
The person I'm talking to right now is named Shilo. She's totally sweet and just fun to talk to. She's not exactly in our group, but I'm forcing her a spot.
Anyways. As I'm writing this, I'm listening to NeverShoutNever! as any stereotypical alternative kid will these days. I love music, and I plan on making it something of a job for me in the future. I play acoustic guitar, of course. I've named my guitar Jimi Bob Mardrix, after two groovy guys. Yes, I plan on inserting some random hippie slang into this thing. The hippies were some of the awesomest folks in the world in my opinion. The fact that I think this way tends to shock most people that encounter me because, in all honesty, I dress in all black a lot of the time (hence the name), and they think that all people that dress this way can't like hippies for some insane and completely rediculous reason that I can't even fathom.
I'm pansexual. That means I don't look at genders when I date a person. I look at the person they are on the inside. I'll date guys, girls, trannies, hermaphrodites, and androgynous people. It doesn't matter to me. In fact, I'm kind of talking to a girl right now. Adding to the not-normal factor is I'm vegetarian. I was vegan for a year, but I fell in to the temptations of chocolate cake. XD I've been thinking about going vegan again lately, though.
I'm an anarchist, which means I oppose all forms of government. The reasoning behind this belief is because I don't believe any other person has the rights to decide what's best for others. Every form of government is essentially stating that the common person, and by that I mean the majority of those inhabiting the country, are too uneducated or stupid to be able to effectively make their own decisions. Think about it. What have most wars and disputes in history been caused by? The two main causes are this: people high up in government positions becoming offended by others of another country, and religious bigotry. I'm not quite sure as to which is the most, but I'm pretty sure a lot of the first could be contributed to the latter. That being said, I'm an atheist.
My friends and I are what you would consider to be artists and poetic geniuses (not my words. Just ask our teachers). We have a lot of drama and it is only my job to relate it all to you as any faithful blogger will. But first, I believe an introduction of my friends is in order, am I right?
First comes Snapples. We've been best friends since the third grade and we've gone through hell and back with each other's help. If not for her, I probably wouldn't even be posting this thing right now. I'd be laying in some ditch by now.
Next is King of Heartz. I've known him for about three years. This is my twin. You mess with him, you mess with me, and when you mess with me, you get fucked up. This is my best gay buddy, lol. And that's saying something because almost our entire group is some kind of gay.
The person I'm talking to right now is named Shilo. She's totally sweet and just fun to talk to. She's not exactly in our group, but I'm forcing her a spot.
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